Remaining Vulnerable

12For it is not an enemy who reproaches me,
Then I could bear it;
Nor is it one who hates me who has exalted himself against me,
Then I could hide myself from him.
13But it is you, a man my equal,
My companion and my familiar friend;
14We who had sweet fellowship together
Walked in the house of God in the throng.
15Let death come deceitfully upon them;
Let them go down alive to Sheol,
For evil is in their dwelling, in their midst.
16As for me, I shall call upon God,
And the LORD will save me.

Psalm 55:12-16

Often it's the people closest to us that hurt us the most. It's not that people seek out these opportunities but rather we let our guard down and don't see the need to question every single move they make; we trust them... sometimes foolishly.

In this passage, the psalmist is expressing his hurt. He explains that if it were an enemy he would've been able to see it coming and prepared accordingly. But this wasn't an enemy, this was someone close to him, a companion that he fellowshipped with.

So what's the lesson here, don't trust anyone? I don't think so. I think we're taught to first trust God with all our heart but to use discernment when trusting others, even those closest to you.

I've had people closest to be betray my trust. It makes you bitter and very closed up. How could I have used God's discernment there? I didn't know Jesus back then but looking back how could I have seen it coming? There's a lot of things I could've done differently that lead up to it but I could've just been more aware of my surroundings. Everything that happens in my life needs to be brought to God's throne, checking according to His will and Spirit. I know there are things intentionally concealed that I cannot control... I just need to trust in God's provisions.

Father God, thank You for these moments that remind me that I'm just me, a small speck on Your radar. Help me to never become bitter or have a hardened heart. If I'm struck on my face I choose to give my other cheek. Trusting You is enough. Amen!

Leadership Qualities

3But the people said, "You should not go out; for if we indeed flee, they will not care about us; even if half of us die, they will not care about us. But you are worth ten thousand of us; therefore now it is better that you be ready to help us from the city."

4Then the king said to them, "Whatever seems best to you I will do." So the king stood beside the gate, and all the people went out by hundreds and thousands.

2 Samuel 18:3-4

We all know the best leaders are those who serve others. I think about how David wanted to fight alongside his men. But his men loved him so much and beleived in their king that they refused to have the king fight in battle. They said it would be a threat and also admitted the king would would best serve from the city. The mark of a great leader is a common heart and vision from the least to the greatest.

I was just talking about leadership with my wife and how without good direction everyone will do what they deem best. This may be good temporarily for a small number but soon conflict and trouble arises. This is true in all parts of our life: my marriage, family, work, ministry... all these need good direction to be fruitful in the ling haul, good leadership.

Father God, thank You for being the greatest leader! But like David's men, we need to buy into Your devine plans and do our parts... this is the Devine-Human relationship. Help me Lord, as the appointed leader in what You've entrusted to me, to be the best servant I can. Teach me humility and boldness to carry out Your desires. In the precious name of Jesus I pray, amen!

Testing is Mocking God

Then they spat in His face and beat Him with their fists; and others slapped Him, and said, "Prophesy to us, You Christ; who is the one who hit You?"

Matthew 26:67-68

I think of David listening to the prophet Nathan when I read this scripture.  I read it thinking how terrible they are and what should happen to them as punishment but then I catch myself; we're no different than these.  We do the exact same thing when we test the Lord by saying, "if you grant me this wish I'll follow you" or "I've done so much for you, why aren't you granting me this desire?"  Can't you see the connection?  We're mocking Jesus on the cross by demanding He do something to prove He is the Messiah.  This is a repulsive practice that needs to stop... from each of us!

The last couple days my wife and I have been sad because we're having so much trouble trying to conceive.  It's so frustrating as I look at others having babies... that compounded with Mother's Day just happening brought back other feelings of our miscarriage.  I start thinking, "why, Lord?"  What have I done, what has my wife done, what can we do?!  Just say the word and I'll do it.  But all these questions are saying one thing clear, I don't trust the Lord with everything... how can He place a precious gift in our hands if we're not ready?  It's sad because I start comparing with others... who am I to judge others?  It goes back to just being tired and frustrated with my circumstances... I need to allow God to fill us.  I need to be satisfied and content with what God dealt us; without envy of others' blessings.  The blessings we're given in this situation are equally eternal.

Heavenly Father, please reach deep down into my heart and massage that sore spot.  Pour Your wonderful Spirit into each crevice and cavity that's thirsty for filling.  Please allow Your love to fill us up instead of things of this world which will fade away.  Thank You for this time of preparation... it will have long lasting effects for Your kingdom.  In the wonderful name of Jesus Christ I pray, amen!