Slave to Something

Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness? But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed, and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.

Romans 6:16-18

This passage reminds me of the saying, "you are going to worship something whether you know it or not... choose God."  This is also like the the passage in Deuteronomy 30:19 where it says to to choose life instead of the curse.  It clearly points out that our hearts will gravitate towards something; our default action is to sin.  This makes us a slave of something because it's out of our control... we're going to submit to something.  We need to make a choice, an intentional submission to go where God is and it's not going to be easy.  God's grace covers us in our missteps but we need to make that eternal decision on our own.

What am I a slave to?  One area (of the many) that I'm a slave to is self-confidence or self-worth.  I struggle with the feeling that I'm not good enough, in a way always looking for acceptance or approval.  For example, leading Bible study.  I spend time to prepare for a lesson only to second guess myself, questioning how I'm going to deliver the message.  I then question if it'll be effective and then question my own interpretation of God's word.  In the end I don't offer any message and I never grow as a leader.  This happens because I lack confidence.  I believe in the content and desire the message to be conveyed but my thoughts start centering on my performance instead of God's heart.  I make myself a slave of paralysis and prevent God's word from molding and guiding His children's hearts.  I have to pray against this in order for God's blessings to shower His flock.

Father God, thank You for being my one true source of confidence and worthiness.  Please forgive me of looking inwardly when I should be seeking Your desires and ways.  You are very aware of all my struggles in this life so I pray I draw closer to You in all situations my Lord.  In Christ Jesus' precious name I pray, amen.